Two “decent” pilots

Unedited text.


March. I get a fare in South-East Espoo, from a bar Westend at about 11 p.m.

I drove to the bar and two guys entered the car, both in their 50s. One looked like the former Finnish ski jumping talent Matti Nykänen. The other one was a look-alike of a well-known Estonian actor Lembit Ulfsak in his youth. For real, when I looked at the first guy and heard him talk, I thought, it can’t be Matti, touring around from bar to bar.

The doppelganger of Matti wanted to go Haukilahti (about 1km/0,6mi) and I needed to take the copy of Lembit to the border of Espoo-Helsinki, LauttasaariVattuniemenkuja street. Can you imagine hearing that street name from a man drunk as a skunk? “Waddddunjiieeemengujaaaa.”

haukilahti sadam

View to marina in Haukilahti. Photo: author.

Long story short, I heard the first part of the name, but the end, “kuja”, I didn’t.

I found Vattuniemenkatu from the navigator and reached the Länsiväylä highway when I noticed that Lembit next to me is sleeping. I told him “Hey, don’t fall asleep, I’m not sure which house is yours. I don’t know where to stop.” Nothing. The sponge had soaked up too much alcohol and couldn’t wake up.

I arrived to Vattuniementakatu and saw a house which number was 13. I stopped the car and tried to wake the guy up. First talking quietly, then louder and louder. Finally I yelled and hit his shoulder: “Wake the fuck up!” Still nothing. It was no use.

I thought what to do. Then I remembered that cold air would help. I rolled down all the windows and went about 70km/h (43mph) on that same street. At the same time I kept working on him verbally and physically.

800px-Lauttasaari_air_1

View to Lauttasaari. Photo: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lauttasaari_air_1.JPG

At the end of the street he came out of his unconsciousness. I stopped the car and yelled at him with the voice of a bear: “WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR HOUSE??!!” He looked around and was astonished by the scenery. He didn’t know where the fuck he was. First he pointed to a yard and then “Shit, that isn’t it.” He asked “Where are we?” I loudly explained to him: “You are in LAUTTASAARI!” Several times. For fuck’s sake.

So I kept driving on the street until we …


You can read the end of the story from the book “The Diary of Taxi Driver in Finland. Part One” with about 100 stories for just 2.99!

And if it’s not too much to ask, please leave your comment or put a Like on my book page on Amazon after the reading.

Many thanks in advance,

Tommi Topelund


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